Are you talking to yourself? Or are you listening to yourself? They may seem similar, but in actuality they are worlds apart. I want you to do something for me. Think back to a time when there was recently a challenge in your life. Even one as easy as doing something you don’t necessarily want to do, like chores around the house. Try and remember what you were thinking as you were getting ready to do it or in the middle of doing it. Was it negative in some way? Chances are that it was. If not, great job!
Those negative thoughts are what I call “listening to yourself”. This tends to come out when people have challenges or something that they aren’t necessarily excited about doing. Maybe the activity they are doing isn’t going their way or is harder than they thought it would be. This is when people start to get in their own heads, or “listening to themselves” and it often times comes out in a negative fashion.
On the flip side, I have found that if I decide to take control of that voice and “talk to myself” rather than “listen to myself” I am able to be more positive with my thoughts, and more productive and confident. When I “talk to myself” I choose what I want to say and how I want to say it. I am taking control of what the voice in my head is saying. Thus, allowing me to be positive and productive with my thoughts and my actions.
Being able to “talk to yourself” rather than “listen to yourself” is a skill that can be built. It is not something that just develops over night though. You need to be on guard and try to catch yourself when you’re “listening” instead of “talking”. The more challenging the situation or the bigger the stage you find yourself in, the more important, as well as more difficult it is to have the positive self talk. This is why it is a skill that you will want to work on developing it in your daily life. Not only will you find that you will be happier and more positive on a daily basis, but you will find that you can take on tougher challenges as well.
Listening to yourself vs. Talking to yourself
L: I’m not sure I can run this last mile.
T: I may be tired, but I can push through this!
L: How could I miss such an easy shot?
T: I can make that shot. I won’t miss that one again!
L: I don’t want to do another set. I’m exhausted!
T: This last set is where champions are made!
L: I’m tired….it’s too early to get up!
T: I’m tired, but so is my competition. I’m going to get after it!
I hope this helps you develop more positive self talk!
-Jeff